Finally peace and quite.
I havent been here in a long time have i. its 12:30 and i cant sleep. Nicky's leaving for school again in two days, and im gunna miss her. School starts at the end of the month. I don' twanna go back to that hellhole, Dramma is my only outlet and now I have all this resonsibility I don't want. Sure it was fun being the aprentice, but now. And now I am expected to be this great builder and live up to Mak, and well I Suck. And to top things off the kids in scouts are making me consider even getting eagle. Well I hope no one reads this anymore beacuse I just wanna say. I'm tired of my dad not listening to me, of people looking down on me,Nicky's consant mood swinges, the fact that I can stand up for me or my friends, and that im so lost with girls, and I wish I wasn't so fuckin ugly. The last one because im tired of girls looking at me like im a pathetic bug.
TatA My friend
posted by Darth Sparkius @ 12:29 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Well it hate to tell you that I still read this so sorry to dash your hopes. But what are friends for.
Can't sleep? Well it is rather simple. YOU ARE THINKING WAY TO DAMN MUCH!!!!! Things are what they are. Life is not some scripted event, it is constant improv. Stop trying to live up to anyone, including your own standards. If things are too much then LET SOMETHING GO! It sounds easy but I know that it is not. But better a complete uncomplicated life then a half-ass busy one.
Goals are not something that should be so damn specific that you cannot achieve them. You are still developing who you are and what you are, that takes time. Stop being so hard on yourself. And if anyone else is giving you a hard time then realize that it comes from one of two places. Either they care about you and are pushing because they want to succeed, or they fear you and want to try and keep you down. In either case don't listen, accept where it comes from and let it go.
As far as Dad's not listening...yeah I hear ya. Mine did a great job of sitting there but I know he never heard a damn thing I said. Sucks. If it matters to you then don't give up, try a different approach. Hell talk to your Mom about it. Just don't walk away, cause at some point there is no going back.
Looking down at you...I am sorry to say get used to it. The important thing to remember is that if they are looking down on you then it is an attempt to cover up how little they really are, and in fact since those people are often usidedown and backwards in truth they are looking up at you but don't want to admit it. You are an awesome young man and if anyone says otherwise, including you I am going to KICK THEIR ASS!!!
As far as being lost with girls, that will rectify itself in time. Be patient. I don't mean give up on it or not try but don't let it get you down. There is someone out there for you. It may take some time to find the right one, hell it took me 36 years (don't worry it will happen sooner for you, I am just SPECIAL...where is the short bus?)
STOP KNOCKING YOURSELF DOWN! There are far to many people in the world that will gladly do that for you. You are not ugly by the way. If you keep it up there is an ass kicking in your future.
Again if they are looking down on you it is because they are upside down and backwards. Shallow people often have to try and destroy those with real consistancy lest they show the shallow ones up.
Hey I am always looking here to see how you are doing. I do care. I always will. If you want send me an email sometime. it is xens05@gmail.com.
You are never alone when you have friends and trust me you have them.
Later
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